When I started my lob almost twelve years ago, my boss at the time told me that I was "too blue-collar to have a job like this". At the time I was offended. I was smart, talented, and had worked hard to get out of the factory town I was raised in. Getting away from that blue-collar upbringing was my dream in life. Couldn't she understand that, to me, white-collar equaled making it in life?
Now, twelve years on, I have come to realize that it wasn't the type of work I was doing that had her so distressed. It was the values I held. Although this is not what she meant - she did intend to be insulting - she was right. The blue-collar values I was raised with do not match those of the academic, white-collar setting I find myself in. And its time that I get myself off the tightrope I have been walking, trying to balance too many conflicting ideas. Its time I find myself a place where I can be happy with my set of morals and values.
What are these blue-collar values of which I speak? They are the core concepts of life, as I learned them from family - most notably, my grandparents. These concepts include (but are not limited to):
1. Family comes first. No matter what else is going on in life, you do for family. Yet, here I have colleagues who have to be convinced to take a day off because their spouse is having surgery. They don't think the place could survive without them for a few hours. Or the people I know who have moved halfway across the country to take a job, only to leave their family behind. Really?!?! Your career is more important than being together as a family? I don't understand this.
2. Treat people the way you would want to be treated. White-collar types talk way too much about needing to be respected. The way I was raised, the best way to get respect is by showing it to others. I'm sorry, but the degree you earned or the job title you have do not automatically earn you my resect. They are nice things to have and I admit you probably worked hard to get them, but if you are not a decent human being, they don't really mean a whole lot. I am told all the time that I am not professional enough. Okay, I can live with that. But that doesn't mean I haven't done my job well and earned the trust of my students. That's never been the problem. The problem, as others see it, is that I care too much. I treat my students - yes, 'my kids" - as human beings. I must be evil!
3. Give what you can. As bad as your life may seem, someone always has it worse. Be thankful for what you have by helping those who are less fortunate. I don't have a lot of money, but I am happy to treat someone to meal if they can't afford one or offer a warm place to sleep to someone who has nowhere else to go. I think the perfect example of this was last summer. Someone who was moving to town had ordered a farm share from a local grower. The hard part was, the farm share started June 1st and she wasn't arriving until the 21st. She asked me if a I would get her vegetables from the farm share and I could have them. I agreed, and realized with the first pick-up that it was way too much for one person. I offered to share it with some of my students. They were excited to get the fresh veggies and I didn't have to see them go to waste. What seemed like a win-win situation to me was seen as almost criminal by colleagues. I'll admit, it still confuses me.
4. Help thy neighbor. While this one pretty much goes along with the "give what you can" idea, it goes a little further than that. And what I question with this concept is when did help become a four letter word? I have simply never seen people who are so afraid of getting their hands dirty unless it earns them something in return. Long gone are the days when you helped someone simply because it was the right thing to do and you knew that, if the roles were reversed, they would be there to help you. The last time I had to ask a friend for help - and it was something quick and easy - the answer I got was "I'll talk to the others to arrange something for you". No1 That's not the way its supposed to work. The help I asked for would take five minutes and cost you nothing. But its okay for the same person to turn around and ask me to help him with something much more labor and cost intensive. And I seriously had to fight the urge to say yes. But I did say no, and he whined about friends needing to be there for one another. Really?
I don't mean for this post to sound in any way negative, even though I'm sure it does. It really more to illustrate some of the core values I hold, and why they don't fit in with where I currently am in life. I really want to find may way back to these blue-collar values. I want to find a place in this world where these values fit, can be helpful and are appreciated by those around me. If anyone knows a place like that, please let me know.
No comments:
Post a Comment